I’ve been on a lot of dates. It comes with the territory of being single in Edinburgh. I’m maybe a little dismissive but I figure that at my age it probably needs to be worth it to get into an actual relationship. So when I arranged a Sunday afternoon (yep that bit of timing is important) the result was already concluded.
The right site. Is there even such a thing?
I might as well just admit it. POF! I know there are great guys on there (I’ve made great friends and dated a few over the last few years. But there are also plenty of, hmmmm, odd ones. To be honest though the men on Match are not really different so why pay. This may be a mistake but I’m not the most committed dater due to work taking up most of my life. What the hell.
The right man? Yes you can laugh at this bit!
It’s really hard. You get an image and a little bit of info. You also try and broaden out your taste as age teaches you that who you fancy isn’t the same person you decided to marry when young (and divorce and then pick similar men to be with, date, and break up with). The image isn’t always reality so you get good at making quick judgements. I regret some of the men I’ve done that with before realising that the ‘they aren’t right for me and my lifestyle’ decision was wrong once I’d moved on. What the hell, I probably wasn’t right for them either.
Then there’s the ones I’ve liked more than they have liked me and the guys who have liked me more than them. This is complete confusion. But back on the horse (or something like that) – I figured I would give this guy a go. But in a relaxed (no pressure way) by doing it on a Sunday afternoon. That way I couldn’t get drunk but could have a oh so relaxed glass of wine. That went wrong…he wanted to meet in a place no self respecting red wine drinker would go. Beer it was then!
The right date?
I’m ok at these as I can get on with most men. But I’m always nervous (hide it well) and never know what to wear. I ended up with jeans and a nice top. Edinburgh is pretty relaxed in dress code even on a Saturday night (if you are over 25) so this was a good choice. He was nice. Conversation was good and he had a lovely face. The rest didn’t match what I thought it would be. This is where I think I go wrong. The assessments in my head of things including: could I ever move in with him, would he cope with my lifestyle (city girl through and through), is he too needy, would my friends like him. All this is way too much pressure. Or maybe it’s the smart thing to do to save everyone time. This is bound to be why I’m single and a walking contradiction :).
Anyway it went ok…I just didn’t get the attraction vibe and neither did he. So I was really surprised to get a few flirty messages from him later. Today I just figure he had a few wines when he got home. No word at all today which is good (and bad for my ego). Does everyone go through this…or is it just me. I’ll just focus on yoga for the week (and wine at the appropriate levels)
My Forty Something Life 