Missing Fish Slice

Picture of an old style of cooker with garlic hanging and pots on top

That is not a photo of my cooker, my one is more normal looking. It is now official that no one should let me near to any cooker including my own. Hobs I am fine with but the oven though always creates a disaster. This disaster involved a missing fish slice.

As a (very long) side note I am not a 100% sure that is what you call it. I sometimes call it a spatula but realise this may be a baking implement. It was a plastic one, not a metal one but I still think it should be called a fish slice. Oh gawd – yes I am an adult. I am over 40 and I am still rubbish at anything cooking related. To be honest it is a failing in life I couldn’t care less about.

It would help if I was in a relationship with a chef. Although I dated one once and am convinced he dumped me for my disinterest in anything cooking related unless it involved eating his food. That sentence could have ended completely differently but I should also note a rising (stick that word at the end and it also applies!) disinterest in him….I would have dumped him if he hadn’t done it first. Just saying.


I lost my fish slice a fee weeks ago. I found this fact really perplexing. Where can a fish slice go?! I spent numerous occassions pondering this. My kitchen is small. My flat is not massive. I didn’t (I was pretty sure) take it out the kitchen. Why would I? Despite this logic I searched a bit around the rest of my house before giving up due to the impending doom of insanity at my actions. How would I explain this one to any psychiatrist when they took me away.

So I gave up searching and assumed it was lost with no explanation. I logically put this in the ‘oh well’ category of life’s little mysteries.

Until…. I used my oven. A rare event (did you read my baking post) and one that usually involves disaster. Due to an even more rare event as I do weirdly eat pretty clean (just involving hob things). A pre-packed meal. I was tired and needed macaroni so in to the oven went the supermarket meal.

The macaroni was good. Moorish and just what I needed to refuel. The oven however seemed a little off. It was a bit smokey. I think this happens sometimes. Does it? Does anyone else’s oven smoke a little on occasion? Is that a cooking thing?

On investigation I found something unusual. A blob of what looked like plastic. On inspection of the said blob I couldn’t figure it out (honestly I am really quite sharp minded at work!). After dinner and a bit of sofa chilling realisation struck. It was that bloody fish slice. Back I went and found the slice bit of the fish slice at the back of the oven. It must have just been the handle that melted.

Why I put my fish slice in the oven is a mystery. Why I didn’t take it out is another one. But I now just think that there is a really good way to avoid any repeat of this. Just don’t use the oven. Ever. Not even 6/7 times a year. So I am now done with the oven and have bought a new fish slice. If. Big if…I ever leave it in the oven again this one is metal πŸ™‚

Photo by Annie Spratt on Unsplash

11 thoughts on “Missing Fish Slice”

  1. Hilarious! And despite your dislike for all things food related – except the consumption of it – you’re not alone in your mishaps πŸ˜‰ I LOVE to cook and bake… but I’m definitely not going to make it on any of those guest TV shows, that’s for sure. However, I had my own minor incident where I gave in to a precooked meal for time convenience. And in my rush, completely forgot to take the plastic lid packaging off of it. πŸ™ˆ It was toast for dinner that night! πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚
    Thanks for sharing this fishy story πŸ˜›πŸ˜‰

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Haha I love that I am not the only one and share your pain with the packaging on those things. Another reason to get rid of single use plastic 😊. You know the funniest thing is that I don’t even like fish πŸ˜†. Thanks for the comment it made me giggle


      1. Then I’ve returned the giggling favour πŸ˜‰ But you just made me laugh more πŸ˜› My Aunt allowed her kids to ONLY have one thing they were allowed to ‘not like’. My cousin chose fish, because she decided that tomatoes were the lesser of the two ‘food evils’ πŸ˜›πŸ˜‰

        Liked by 1 person

    1. Haha glad I made you laugh Rob. He was a pompous foodie πŸ˜‚ and my oven is now officially closed! I am also convinced that most of the things I say could be seen as double entendres even when I don’t mean them to be πŸ˜†

      Liked by 1 person

  2. My mother once melted a plastic mixing spoon to a saucepan bottom. It would have been funnier if they had been hers rather than mine and hadn’t destroyed the caramelized onions in the process.

    Liked by 1 person

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