So apparently video dating is a thing

It’s bad enough being single and having to date normally. In a ‘lockdown’ (or near lockdown) dating is not really something that can be done. But some creative, somewhat annoying, people have come up with alternatives.


Yep there are options. No one needs to put down the dating app if they don’t want to. Swipe right and sort out a video date instead. Oooh hurrah. I feel like running to my phone and swiping right just to have to chat to a complete stranger about COVID-19 – what else is there to talk about nowadays. Obviously I am being sarcastic here. It might actually work for some people. Others will just amuse themselves for a while ;-).

People already dating are doing video ‘dates’. I get the rationale for this a bit more. It is tough for people who have been dating and now can’t see each other. Living together is probably not an option at that point in a relationship. No one wants to end something too quickly and living together may just tip people over the edge.

Married – I am sure you guys will have options too. It may be understandable when you get sick of each other to FaceTime from different rooms…just to keep it all normal.


If you are single and happy with that then fabulous. Because lets face it you are staying single for a while longer. Its a contact thing. People say physical contact isn’t necessary and maybe for some people it isn’t. I think its an important part of anything though. Anything else is just a great connection. So maybe we should just be happy making connections whilst missing the physical contact. Who knows. If ever there was a time to say it was shite being single – nows the time.

As they say though – worse things happen at sea.

Photo by Pablo Heimplatz on Unsplash


It’s nearly Valentine Day so I thought I’d share my top snippets of relationship advice. Probably the best ever relationship advice! I doubt you can go on without it. If you do ignore it though, good luck 😉

Relationship Advice

If your in a relationship and it’s stifling you – end it.

If your in a relationship and you like it – don’t fuck it up.

If your dating – remember that your taste doesn’t always produce the best flavours.

If your staying single – erm…go you! Just do what you like when you like it.

In any relationship status – make sure you and the people around you are managing to smile, laugh and have fun.

Getting chatted up

If you chat someone up then you are (according to the dictionary) speaking to them in an informal way because you are sexually attracted to them. Another example might be “he came on to me”.

Some people don’t believe me (you know who you are!), but I never really know when I am being chatted up unless it is pretty obvious. The pretty obvious ones seem to always be in the most un-obvious of places. Even then I sometimes only realise what happened a little later; usually when people are laughing at my account of the situation.

Do other people always know? Tell me how please! Is it a wink? That could just be a tick you know. A slight touch of the arm? They could just be one of those tactile people. Or are you like me and someone literally has to chase you around a building or matter of factly state that they like you (in a sexual not freindly way) to get your attention on the fact they just might fancy you?

For someone who thinks they are really good (I am really good) at figuring out other peoples behaviours I have a massive blind spot when it comes to myself. At least I can laugh at this deficiency. After telling my ‘chatting up’ story this week I figure why not share a couple of them!


An odd heading – yes. An even odder situation – definitely. Oh gawd if anyone who knows this person reads this I am really screwed as it was recently.

What the hell. So……

I went to a funeral of friend of mine who lost someone close. He gave me the details and so I was there. My intention? To show support to him as a friend, to sit in the back, quietly pay my respects and then leave quietly after giving him a wee nod.

I should put a disclaimer on this one. I am not 100% sure this was a chat up but in a dark humorous kind of way it probably was. Maybe… was. If it wasn’t then it was just weird.

I was quietly waiting to go in when I got a tap on the shoulder. Hi are you here alone he said. Trying to be polite (whilst answering an obvious question) I said yes. The chat continued. I find it awkward chatting during sombre events which my face probably conveyed but he persisted. Initially this seemed ok as it was the usual how do you know such and such, this is how I know such and such.

Until…. “So what is it you do?”

Stop right there. Was it just an awkward question? A tick? A wink? The next statement floored me. When I said what my job was the response was “I am in batteries”. Quite honestly what do you do with that statement. Trying not to laugh given the situation I said…after quite a long and awkward silence…”oh”. There was more awkward chat. I managed to run away to the back of the church.

Was it a chat up? In a slightly reluctant way I think yes. This probability was increased somewhat when my mate messaged me later to say thanks for coming. He ended with a “I heard you met x”.

Thankfully I know he would find this funny. But why me?!!! Maybe it was just an awkward conversation.


Longer ago. A meeting is even worse than a funeral in my book. Work relationships are just not a thing for me. Wonderful that others have met their ‘one’ at work. I just never touch work people. Its like a rule in life.

At the end of a meeting a man who was probably a good 15 – 20 years older than me asked me to go for coffee. My first response was if you want a coffee I’ll go make you one. His response was awkwardly “no….would you like to go for a coffee”. Eh? Stop! Oh shit!!! He repeated this a few times before the penny dropped.

Whilst the penny was dropping he obviously decided he needed to be direct. He said he was asking me out.

My response was equally obvious. “No”! I repeated this a few times before the penny dropped with him. The worst and most funny thing about this was that he actually asked me why I said no. WTF! So in an equally funny and not funny way I said that he was not my type, that he was far too old for me, and I would never want to date him. No point at that point of trying to be subtle.

Having missed out the unattractive comment that was on the tip of my tong I thought I did well. He said “Oh well…I am glad I asked”. I, for the record, wasn’t.

On my return from the meeting a colleague noticed my ghostly white and pretty shocked face. He took me aside to make sure I was ok. I told him about the incident. The only (and best response) he could give was to actually roll on the floor laughing whilst trying to belt out Dionne Warrick’s ‘heartbreaker’. Git! Funny git though. Whenever I see him he still sings this.

Just the two

I have more. Not in a – I get chatted up lots way. Just in a.. that was a bloody awkward and hilarious situation in life. Actually if I do get chatted up more I wouldn’t notice it. Going back to my original question, how do you know!!?

Got stood up but my freezer is clean

Not exactly the title to get me SEO brownie points. I don’t really understand SEO so I’m sticking with it. This title also reads like an odd combination but there is an explanation. Basically I did get stood up. However the upside to this situation is that I cleaned my freezer. Confused? I’ll explain.

The Chancer

I have a guy I date occasionally. He messaged on Saturday to ask if he could stay for a night on his way to London. I said “sure”.

My nickname for him (to ensure anonymity) is ‘The Chancer’. If he ever comes across my blog he would definitely know as this is him to a tee. Pretty much because he is a complete chancer.

This is the main reason he is not my partner (we have discussed this). To explain a little more he is: funny, great company, and attractive. But he is also: unreliable, amusingly untrustworthy (some of his stories are outlandish) and a right pain in the proverbial. My summary position – I don’t want to marry him but an evening or two is soooo much fun.

The preparation

To prepare for a visitor your flat should look presentable. Surely? Well I lucked out here because everything was pretty clean. I hate cleaning (see previous post on this topic), but had done enough over the weekend so that my Tuesday visitor would not be negatively judging me. I think this is just good manners.

However one issue that felt outstanding and far too monumental a cleaning task for a Sunday night was the freezer. Large icicles, ice mountains and ice blocks had been forming (maybe over a long time) and the freezer door was not willing to stay shut. The door thing only appeared as an issue on Sunday.


There is no hidden meaning in this heading. I just figured I could not call my flat presentable if the cold was leaking out of the freezer.

As with all cleaning tasks, I am not sure whether any admission to lack of frequency will be frowned upon. I’ll just blurt this out then. I hardly ever defrost my freezer. I have stuff in it most of the time which makes this task seem impossible to do without waste. When I don’t have much in it I honestly can’t be arsed cleaning it. So it rarely (eek…years in between) gets done. That is probably an awful thing to admit.

So with the ice mountains threatening to affect my flat’s temperature I decided (either stupidly or luckily depending on your viewpoint) to clean it in preparation for ‘The Chancer’ appearing.

He never appeared…bonus

A little message popped up on my phone this afternoon. “I can’t make it…trip postponed”. This did not devastate me in the slightest. I had a long day and was running late in work and I needed wind down me time.

So arriving home at 7.30pm to pour a (little) glass of wine whilst dinner is in the oven I can’t help but feeling relieved. Yes it might have been fun. Yes he is funny. But I am tired, happy and hungry. I also have a sparkly freezer. A once in a long time event which deserves a glass of red to celebrate. A definite bonus!

Photo by Dev Benjamin on Unsplash

Mixed messages

There is one rule to have in dating. When you don’t think it would ever work – move on. For me the way to do this is to be clear about your feelings, give a reason why, understand their point of view and not be too upset at upsetting someone if it is the right thing to do. It’s better in the long run. I’m good with this rule (sort of…usually). I am old enough now not to get into a relationship just because it’s sometimes easy to fall into it without really being into it. Clearly over the last 2 weeks I have been rubbish at this rule.

The bloke

Funny, fun, and pretty fit. One of those guys who was great to date but amusingly frustrating at the same time. A chancer in life and in the stories he would tell me. Loads of reasons to like him but also loads of reasons to think ‘hell no’ – not for me in the long term. He said he wanted a relationship. In all honesty I think this is just something he felt he should say. He kind of wanted to move in with me. That was a red flag right there! I told him it was. This level of honesty appeared to just confuse him but hey, he was still a lot of fun.

Can’t we just date?

Hasn’t everyone experienced the situation where you like dating someone but don’t see it progressing? If you haven’t you are probably quite lucky because no matter how honest you are; it leads to mixed messages. It also ends up being a bit of a rubbish situation no matter which side you are on. It is ok that not everyone is for you or you for them. I suppose that’s just the reality of dating.

Can we stop dating?

After realising this with the ‘chancer’ I decided to end things. It was still very early on and I figured it was the best thing to do. I was honest with him and said there was no point in continuing with things which de didn’t take badly at all. Great! I should admit that I did this by messaging him. I’m cringing at even admitting this and it doesn’t help that I said he could phone me to talk about it if he wanted to. How rubbish is that? Yep, pretty rubbish. First oops….but it wasn’t like I had seen him a lot (my attempt at an excuse for my awful behaviour). Nobody is perfect 🙂

The message

Before I started my health kick I had an evening where I had a few glasses of wine. I also had a pretty relaxed, clear of definitive plans, weekend ahead. Such a dangerous situation I know and I fell down the rabbit hole when my phone was unlocked and my fingers started tapping out a message. You will notice that I have disassociated my brain from this situation. Anyway the upshot was that I (in my wine soaked reasoning) thought it would be good to have a fun night out. I am definitely not perfect 🙂

The irony

He declined my offer but we had a laugh about it. Good on him as it was a right bloody cheek of me. In my (re-associated with my actions) brain, clear of any wine, I was glad it had all worked out without too much fallout. The problem is that we messaged back and forth after. So when I got a message from him to ask what I was up to this weekend I did have a slight panic. Tentative message back….no response…realisation struck (albeit a day later)! He drunk messaged me! Serves me right. He is definitely not perfect either :-). Dating is tough sometimes.

Photo by Kelly Sikkema on Unsplash