Flip flops are the only things I’m going to put on my feet today. I’ve done a yoga class. Side crow as a peak pose in my living room was pretty satisfying. Best thing is that I’m sure my instructor couldn’t see how rubbish it was 😊.
What is everyone up to today?
Me – I’m in the garden. My toes are getting some sun. My 🎧 are on and I am loving today. If you have any great music to recommend send it my way. I’m not moving from here unless it is to dance around the garden with a wine 🍾.
Tomorrow – it never comes so I’ll just be focusing on today, toes, tanning and temptation…(it was the only other t I could thing of!).
Yes Carrots. No that is not me swearing about something. Although ‘carrots’ might be a new swear word (curse word) in my life going forward. Hilariously funny, wonderfully petulant, satisfyingly perturbed – carrots now feature in my life as as one of those little stories that is worth hanging onto. Who would have known!
My vegetables didn’t do well at all last year. I did get some spinach and rocket and it was lovely. Most other things…meh. Probably due to me not being Monty Dom. Probably a little due to a weird late spring. Was I bothered? Not at all! It can be more expensive to grow veg, the shops had food in them and I didn’t go without. Was my neighbour, someone I thought was a fellow excited veg grower, bothered? It seems so.
I got a text from him. It was nice enough. He wanted to use my raised beds if I wasn’t going to. Of course I am going to. I like gardening. I should caveat that by saying I like some gardening. I am not a gardener but I like growing things. It is quite satisfying and fills me with joy when I skip out into the garden and cut some spinach off for my curry. Or some rocket for my salad. I skip back in and eat it in a more satisfied, I grew that way, than when I have bought a packet of spinach that lasts only one day.
So I politely declined his lovely offer of utilising my raised beds. This was clearly not the correct answer. What happened next is so shocking and so funny that I don’t quite know how to write it on paper. You may be shocked. You may be upset. You may laugh at me. You may laugh at him. Either or, or any of these, ways – here goes.
I got a lecture on using my raised beds to their full. They apparently shouldn’t be wasted in the current climate. Fine…but not really fine. Its two raised beds…not exactly contributing to a war effort here. Tesco’s is not far away. They have food. I can, however, take that one on the chin; roll with the punches. But I got KO’d for my carrots. Apparently I wasted the whole lot last year.
I did chuck them out. But here is the thing. Are carrots actually carrots if they haven’t grown into carrots? My carrots resembled little stumps rather than carrots. Here is another thing. If they are unceremoniously tossed on the compost heap are they wasted? My neighbour and myself seem to disagree on the definition of wasted. Oh well (I wrote that in a very sarcastic sounding voice).
The texts descended into an argument, the argument descended into what might be described as some akin to a feud. Over CARROTS! Yes, you are welcome! Mull it over for a while…come to your own conclusion on this one. All assessments of the situation are valid.
Unfortunately my work colleagues won’t ever let this one go. Having been witness to the whole thing by text and phone they have now taken on the view that I am a SHIT gardener and my CARROTS are rubbish. This has led to lots of laughing at work. Because it is true :-).
I had all my vegetable seeds ready for this year. Before the garden argument happened. I didn’t have carrots in that mix.
In the middle of a worldwide crisis, where we are only meant to go out for essential work, for food and for an hours exercise, I pick this very suitable moment to be stranded in my street without my house keys.
Oh yes – why would this not happen?! For someone so careful with keys, why not bloody lose them? Well in line with my usual defiance of the norm – my subconscious, or stupid conscious, figured this was the right time to do just that.
Saturday morning: spent cleaning (I hate cleaning) and washing work clothes for next weeks anticipated long hours.
Saturday late morning: Ooh I am finally an organised person even though it has taken a pandemic to kick my arse into gear.
Saturday lunchtime: I shall go to Tesco and buy my essentials. I will queue. I will encounter polite people (socially distant). I will encounter stupid people. I will get my stock of prosseco (alcohol is essential in Scotland and we will happily admit it), bread and woohoo I managed to get flour. As an aside – the flour will get used to bake stuff with. I should also add is clearly the measure of a crisis in my book. I baked last year and normally only do it every 10 or so years.
Saturday just after lunchtime: Where are my keys? I can’t get in my house if I don’t have them. This is not a good time to not have keys. My spares are with my parents who really shouldn’t be getting in the car and coming to my flat to let me in. So I swore (cursed). A lot. A lot of fucks were shouted at myself in the middle of Edinburgh. People probably heard me a mile away since it is pretty quiet now that people are staying indoors. I couldn’t care though. If ever there was a time to have a shit fit it is now!
Saturday just just after lunchtime: buzzed my neighbour after the realisation that since I locked my door on the way out my keys are most likely in the communal bin on the street along with my rubbish. A big bin (dumpster if you are reading this in certain areas). I am not tall. I would fall in and wouldn’t get back out. That would also not be a good situation in the current crisis. No one would touch me to pull me out. Shit Shit Shit! So my neighbour was shouted at to give me step ladders…NOW!!! More fucks shouted.
Saturday at a time I now want to repress: ladder in hand and continual swearing (cursing) loudly I head back out. A few folk are in the street with their shopping. They stop to stare. I don’t care! I open the big bin…I look inside…my fucking (sorry) keys are sitting just on top of the bin bag I threw in on the way to Tesco. Thank the anyone the bin was full enough and they had landed just right. They hadn’t snaked there way to the bottom of the bin. Hallleeehbloooodythankee.
Saturday at a time I now giggle about: So step ladder in hand which I no longer need – I now look like a mad woman. I was swearing like a mad woman. I give it a final hummmmppphh. A bit of a yaaaaaayyyyy. I refrain from doing a wee dance. I then take the ladders and my keys into my house and hide. I laugh. Fuck me if there is ever a time to have a key crisis it is not now!!
It was my birthday a couple of days ago. I got a message from a work mate saying “happy shittiest birthday ever”. Haha I am glad someone said it. During a near lockdown in Scotland at the moment it isn’t easy to do anything we would normally want to do. But here are the brilliant things (yep a list) from my birthday.
1. Drop off food
My folks managed to get me a wee package involving wine and a dinner. Typically they left out the crispy potato things I like but I sourced them at Tesco. Along with more wine (bubbly) and some flowers and a cake. Might as well buy my own flowers for my birthday…right?
I might have mentioned before my lack of kitchen skills. But I entered the ‘tiny’ kitchen and actually cooked my dinner; something I generally like to avoid.
Loads. From work colleagues across the country. Ones I see now, ones I haven’t seen in years. All family though. Its that kind of job. I’m still getting some pinging through now two days later. Usually inappropriate. Usually hilarious. All of them made me laugh. Some I even snort laughed at.
I also had messages from mates that I still see and some I don’t manage to see often. Its pretty great that we all stay connected.
Definitely a few new connections in there too. I love the fact that even people on WordPress who I have only known through our blogs are also in touch. Appreciating the banter…you know who you are :-).
Wether you have been my DJ, my playlist provider or even my FaceTime rendition of happy birthday played by guitar and sung, I have danced around my living room, my bedroom and my tiny hallway. I have refrained from dancing in the garden as there are far too many flats with people in them who, lets face it, have nothing to do other than stare at the mad folk outside. I have sat in the garden though whenever there is a bit of sun.
4. Girls night in
FaceTiming with the girls who all had a glass of something has been such a laugh. They tried to sing happy birthday to me (I muted them haha). Staying in is the new going out. At least you can always find a seat. At my new age of forty fecking three people might say I need it.
The other great thing about this is that its not that far to get home. No thinking about how I am going to walk down from town on a Saturday night. No taxis required. Just a few skips through to my bedroom and woohoo…bed!
I have lovely neighbours although occasionally we can’t be arsed with each other. They are mental (I am just quirky…there is a difference) but I like them for it.
My old neighbour who used to sing very loudly in the garden, old in age and also old in the fact he had to move across town, phoned me to say happy birthday. Two of my other neighbours made me scones and made me cards. Hey they were Christmas cards, but they scored out the merry Christmas and changed it to Happy Birthday.
Worst or Best?
Can I go for somewhere in between? I had a laugh so it wasn’t bad. I can think of things I would like to be doing though on my birthday though that I couldn’t do. At least I was off work for a couple of days. At least I have a lot of people, connections and laughs.
I also think that if you do have your birthday during the COVID-19 crises then you should be allowed a second one when this is all a bit better.
Does that make me a queen, a princess or just a little demanding? 🙂
The whole situation at the moment is serious so apologies for this seeming light-hearted. But I’m knackered and off for the day.
Honestly – it was spent watching news. News. News. Then a walk to the shop to buy wine. Expensive wine as there was hardly any left. I feel like I have watched too much news.
I played a little bit of piano. Then I watched the news (again). I am already feeling thankful that I have to work. I am also feeling thankful for every type of key worker and really feeling for everyone else who can’t work. Feeling for those who are uncertain about their livelihoods. Everyone has to deal with some form of shit in this situation.
Do I really need to conserve my wine? There must be enough stock in Scotland.
Facetime (Social distancing is serious!). Living on your own – A good thing…a bad thing. If I had to / at any point have to stay at home for 7 days it won’t be a great thing even if it would be a necessary thing.
Wine. Wine. Wine. Piano. Music. Dancing on my coffee table (its big enough don’t worry).
Music choice – pot luck. Here are two of them ;-). They both remind me of connection. Of people. They both make me smile.
Its a short post. I can’t think of much to say this week. Other than stay safe and chin up.