Le Coup des Carrotes (Carrots Part Two)

If you missed my carrot tale…the one where my neighbour in basically said I was rubbish at gardening…then check it out here.

Fast forward, ooh, almost four months. Basically the months that time forgot. My carrots were slowly growing. Growing from seeds into a big, mahoosive, ok adequate sized but fully fledged and hopefully edible carrots.

This was important to me. Slightly childish, yes, but important none the less. When I stuck to my guns and didn’t give up my last bastion of relaxation away from work (especially important when nothing else in Edinburgh has been happening) who knew that success would come. A kind of coup, if you, will from the tyranny of the ‘controlling communal garden’ neighbour.

To be fair his veg have also done ok. But…he stuck to onions. I have onions too! Still a little small owing to the colder climate, but I have them and they look bloody better than his!

I am surprised, as will everyone I know, that my veg worked out. For me the outcome is not always the point of it. I enjoy having a couple of raised beds. I oddly get excited about things growing into food. And whilst I am not bloody Monty Dom even his carrots don’t always work. He just plants about four different types so that one of them will. Well Monty (and the garden warden, aka ‘that’ neighbour) how about my carrots.

I’ll leave you with a photo (actually my carrots in my photo!!!). And a couple of wise words to the neighbour.

FUCK YOU 😁

P.s. gardening is actually rather relaxing. Im going to make soup with these carrots and whilst I am amused at how well they have done (to annoy my neighbour), I am more happy about them just actually growing.

Carrots

Yes Carrots. No that is not me swearing about something. Although ‘carrots’ might be a new swear word (curse word) in my life going forward. Hilariously funny, wonderfully petulant, satisfyingly perturbed – carrots now feature in my life as as one of those little stories that is worth hanging onto. Who would have known!

My vegetables didn’t do well at all last year. I did get some spinach and rocket and it was lovely. Most other things…meh. Probably due to me not being Monty Dom. Probably a little due to a weird late spring. Was I bothered? Not at all! It can be more expensive to grow veg, the shops had food in them and I didn’t go without. Was my neighbour, someone I thought was a fellow excited veg grower, bothered? It seems so.

Me when my veg actually grows

Him saying ‘well done’,…,not

I got a text from him. It was nice enough. He wanted to use my raised beds if I wasn’t going to. Of course I am going to. I like gardening. I should caveat that by saying I like some gardening. I am not a gardener but I like growing things. It is quite satisfying and fills me with joy when I skip out into the garden and cut some spinach off for my curry. Or some rocket for my salad. I skip back in and eat it in a more satisfied, I grew that way, than when I have bought a packet of spinach that lasts only one day.

So I politely declined his lovely offer of utilising my raised beds. This was clearly not the correct answer. What happened next is so shocking and so funny that I don’t quite know how to write it on paper. You may be shocked. You may be upset. You may laugh at me. You may laugh at him. Either or, or any of these, ways – here goes.

I got a lecture on using my raised beds to their full. They apparently shouldn’t be wasted in the current climate. Fine…but not really fine. Its two raised beds…not exactly contributing to a war effort here. Tesco’s is not far away. They have food. I can, however, take that one on the chin; roll with the punches. But I got KO’d for my carrots. Apparently I wasted the whole lot last year.

I did chuck them out. But here is the thing. Are carrots actually carrots if they haven’t grown into carrots? My carrots resembled little stumps rather than carrots. Here is another thing. If they are unceremoniously tossed on the compost heap are they wasted? My neighbour and myself seem to disagree on the definition of wasted. Oh well (I wrote that in a very sarcastic sounding voice).

The texts descended into an argument, the argument descended into what might be described as some akin to a feud. Over CARROTS! Yes, you are welcome! Mull it over for a while…come to your own conclusion on this one. All assessments of the situation are valid.

Unfortunately my work colleagues won’t ever let this one go. Having been witness to the whole thing by text and phone they have now taken on the view that I am a SHIT gardener and my CARROTS are rubbish. This has led to lots of laughing at work. Because it is true :-).

I had all my vegetable seeds ready for this year. Before the garden argument happened. I didn’t have carrots in that mix.

I do now.

Those carrots are getting planted today.