I decided this year I wanted some pumpkins. Not really for eating…I am not a fan of pumpkin…well any pumpkin related food. I wouldn’t waste them; the neighbours cook odd stuff so I am sure they would have took them off my hands.
My reason for the pumpkins was so that we would have plenty for the annual Halloween party. Who doesn’t like a bit of fancy dress with carved pumpkins around and lots of 🍷!
This year, along with the pumpkins, I wanted some leaves and tomatoes. Maybe it’s been a funny gardening year or maybe I am just rubbish at this but the majority of things (with the exception of some lovely rocket) never turned out well at all.
It’s not like this was my first growing veg year. I have been doing some vegetables in a few raised beds for the last couple of years I have slowly figured out how much I actually need. Usually salad type leaves (rocket and spinach), some coriander, some spring onions and occasionally I have done potatoes and garlic. Sometimes it works. Sometimes they look like the image for this post. This year my veg looked nothing like it!
The pumpkin plant is like a bloody triffid. It sprawled in every direction and produced lovely big flowers with the promise of loads of pumpkins. Every single mini pumpkin beginning (or whatever you call them) has turned to mush. I don’t even know if they have been eaten or are just not making the grade of turning into adult like pumpkins.
The tomatoes (all five plants of them) have only produced two good and lovely red looking tomatoes. You guessed it…baby tomatoes. Why did this happen. They grew, they flowered, little tomatoes formed – but they never really ripened. Maybe it’s a Scottish thing, maybe it is just that kind of year or quite possibly maybe it is my rubbish gardening skills.
It all started off so well. Things did grow. Things didn’t grow up. At least I had some good rocket. At least I don’t put tomatoes in everything (my mum does this with meals…don’t even ask). At least there is a local Tesco to buy pumpkins for Halloween. Next year will surely be better! Or maybe I will grow some pretty flowers instead.
I shrunk my flip flops. I wasn’t even going to wear them today as its not sunny in Edinburgh. Apparently it is to be lovely later but I am off to Glasgow for a lunch. Anyway – I digress. I actually shrunk my favourite flip flops. Gutted!
The events that led to this catastrophe
I was in the garden on Tuesday. Such a nice day and so we (a couple of neighbours and myself) had a bottle of wine. Sitting under the sun umbrella my feet were peeking out into the summer sun; I really do like my feet when they have a summer glow.
Then from nowhere there was an eerie shadow that passed overhead. Odd given there were no clouds in the sky and the warmth of the sun (and the wine) was making everyone rather cheery. I looked down. I looked at my toes. Realisation hit. There was a splurge of dark slimy stuff on my pinky toe and, oh hell, my favourite flip flops. I screamed (to be fair I thought initially it was a slug!). My neighbours’ (they are meant to be friends) reacted. That was until they, and I, figured out that the slimy stuff must be bird poo.
They say (whoever they are) it is lucky for a bird to poo on you. I didn’t feel lucky. Toes were quickly soaked under the garden tap. Neighbours were quickly descending into hysteria. In my state of shock there was only one thing I could do. Laugh.
Don’t ever put your flip flops on a wash dry cycle
My flip flops, did I mention they were my favourite, required immediate attention. I ran inside and emptied my washing machine (washer dryer to be exact which is honestly a godsend in Edinburgh due to the changeable weather). In went the flip flops. I have washed them before so didn’t think anything would go awry. Stupidly I picked the quick wash dry cycle. This was probably in the hope that I didn’t need to wear my alternative flip flops, which are much less sparkly and less comfortable, for too long.
The wine took over. We laughed about the situation. I forgot all about the flip flops. Until this morning. Jumping up and out of bed early I retrieved them to wander through to my kitchen for coffee.
Aaaarrrrrgggghhhh! My flip flops have shrunk. How did that even happen? Why would rubber shrink? Why would I think it wouldn’t shrink? Why does this remind me of the time I put haggis in the microwave and it exploded? Why didn’t I think about the consequences?
Dealing with the consequences
I am now sat on the train to Glasgow trying to write this blog. I am also intermittently searching rocket dog and amazon to find replacement flip flops. When you have a favourite you want the exact same ones. Why is it you can never find the exact same ones?!!! This also happened with my Dune loafers recently (my favourite loafers). I bought a different pair but they are not the same. My amazon search (rocket dog flip flops) will take a while (I may sneak a look over lunch). The ones below are the black version of the white ones I have. If all else fails with my search I may have to go with them. If anything, these flip flops are generally the most comfy I have found. I would just like them to look as nice as the ones that are currently bordering on a size too small after that bloody bird sh** on them.