Big Spiders

When it starts getting colder we seem to start seeing more of these furry, frightening, fearsome fiends. I am trying not to swear but they are bloody massive. This post might give you some tips to deal with them. Disclaimer – nothing actually works (according to me). However bash on and give the advice a try.

Don’t be scared of the spiders

I read one of those sanctimonious posts on Facebook the other day. It said that spiders in autumn were just looking for somewhere cosy to stay. That they wouldn’t eat you and that they wouldn’t have spider babies that would overrun your home.

No! According to this rubbish bit of information spiders just camp out for a bit and then head on back into the big wide world in spring.

What an absolute load of bollocks. I found myself nodding along initially. Thinking ‘awww the poor wee things’, they just want to be in the warm. Then I faced the reality of my reaction every single time I see one in my house. A reaction I had this week when trying to take a relaxing candlelit bath.

Spiders will eat you…possibly

I saw the spider. It was on the side of the bath (outside bit). By the time I spotted said furry fiend it was too late. I was in the bath and spider removals require cardboard, a glass and at least a little bit of clothing to get them as far away from my flat as possible. So I ignored the spider with some logical thinking. It was hardly likely to get in the bath with me.

All going well. Hair washed. Relaxing done. I grabbed a towel and started to dry myself. Then boom! The spider was on the towel! I’m not a screamer. But these situations call for screaming. Until you realise that the screaming is pointless.

The spider was already flung into some corner of the room. Which is fine…except…I couldn’t see where it went. So for the rest of the night I still had to cope (no screaming involved) with the fact that the bloody great big spider was still hanging out in my house. It’s now two days later and I still have no clue where it is.

Some absolutely rubbish advice

The results of any google search on this topic are somewhat dubious. Hence my lack of belief in any action other than the catch and chuck out method. But here they are anyway. If these work for you please let me know. I might think you are slightly mental but I will be impressed with the commitment.

• Vinegar and Water spray
  • Apparently you find the cracks where they get in and just spray them. Why I don’t know. But advice also warns you that this may be an issue for any surface as vinegar might damage it. I would be more concerned at the smell.
• Oil (peppermint)
  • Again find the cracks and spray. I should say here that anyone who knows where the spiders get in is spending far too long staring at walls.
• Citrus or a Cat
  • Just not together as cats don’t like citrus. I used to have a cat. She ran from spiders too.
• Conkers
  • The only one I actually believe with no logical reason as to why. Especially considering the only place I know where to get these is in the woods. The woods are surely where there are millions of spiders. Hmmmm.
• Cleaning
  • I seriously question this advice. It is only for folk who like cleaning. I don’t.

When nothing else works just tell em!

I’m sorry spider population of Edinburgh. If you are cold please head on to the next flat. I don’t need any spider mates. I certainly don’t want to eat any of you whilst sleeping. Did I say above how much I find spiders super scary? If not I hope you got the point.

Photo by Егор Камелев @unsplash.com

London Marathon Ballot: Ooh the disappointment

I didn’t get a place in the London Marathon 2020. I am so disappointed…in public. I even have a disappointment face for this. Secretly I am relieved and am inwardly doing a dance entitled ‘thank you god of running…that was a close one’.

If I was going to ever do a marathon it would be the London Marathon. I watch it every year and am always motivated to run (shuffle…waddle…jog) after. I even wrote a blog post on it back in April (here). Full of good intentions at the time. Intentions smentions…I think I did about one more run before forgetting the motivation for running.

What I did do, however, after a few (maybe more than a few) glasses of wine in April was to put my name in for the London Marathon Ballot. I also texted my, occasional 10K, friend and made her put her name in too. “It will be great” I said…”we should totally do this”.

This is from a person who doesn’t like to run. I can manage a 5 and 10k and have done these. Marathon’s seem a bit far-fetched for me. However I get that bucket list type feeling whenever I watch the London Marathon. There are loads of people who do it who have never ran before. So surely (my thoughts after wine) I could be someone who trains and then achieves it. On a serious note though I do find it inspiring and would love to be in it one day. If that reality ever strikes though I will be very scared!

I told my friends and family I had entered. There were eyebrows raised and comments such as “fingers crossed for the ballot”. They know me too well though and were hopeful that I wouldn’t get in. Hey…at least my name was in the game.

So you can only imagine my mixed feelings of disappointment and glee when this arrived through the door:

At least they called me a ‘runner’. That in itself is a life time achievement 🙂

I phoned my mum to give her the bad (cough) news. She shared in my disappointment with a wry laugh. I texted my running friend the photo above with the tagline “gutted”.

Move forward one day and this was the text reply from my friend:

Her tag line “FS”…I think she was swearing 🙂

Oops! We all knew that was coming. I actually feel a little jealous and hope she does it. She definitely will. So as a last gasp (god knows why but again I blame the wine last night) I have applied to a couple of charities. They have places you can get if you raise money for them. I doubt any will take me on. But who knows!

Next April if I am not at the sidelines watching then I am going to ban wine on the day of the London Marathon. I will probably apply anyway. It still is one of those bucket list things. If I ever get in I will (probably) give it my best shot.

Header Photo by Gesina Kunkel on Unsplash

Magazine photos: my own and my friend’s.

How Fast Do You Walk?

I’m not really tall so I always figured that was why I don’t match up to the stride of my 6’ 4 friend. But the more I notice how quickly people In general walk the more I am starting to think that I need to step up the pace.

Maybe I’m Just Slow

It’s an odd thing to notice; I get that. But I have noticed this for ages and so am now, somewhat embarrassingly, putting my thoughts on this in a post. But seriously though…how do people manage to sprint by me even when they are the same height, shorter, or even (by appearance only) more unfit?

It all came to a head when an older, as in a lot older, lady sprinted past me up the hill to yoga yesterday. I basically spent the 10 minute walk trying to catch up with her. The result…I just got further behind. Bloody hell.

Why is Everyone Else Faster?

I’m not unfit, I am not shorter and I am definitely a lot younger than said lady above: so why am I slower?

If I was walking in London I would get it. There’s a difference in pace in different places. But I am from Edinburgh and Edinburgh people are racing by me. Maybe I should be living in the highlands…or somewhere…possibly the Caribbean.

Short legs are not an excuse…neither is a slightly rotund arse. It’s probably an attitude thing. Who knows?

Why am I Bothered?

I’m not too bothered about this. Ok maybe a little. But only because I don’t really get it. Maybe this is why my backside isn’t tiny. I will now need to check out the faster folks rears to see if that theory works out. That might be a little odd but at least they won’t see me doing it when they are zooming by.

Thankfully today is a Sunday and it’s illegal (surely) to be sprinting around the place. So I’ll just donder up to yoga later…slowly. I’ll maybe try a longer (and probably weird looking) stride tomorrow 😆.

Yoga Pants Disaster: Nearly

We all need good workout bottoms / pants / leggings right? If you are like me and your backside goes through phases of expanding and decreasing (woohoo the latter for me right now), then getting the right pair is important. This week my favourite yoga pants failed me…but it wasn’t as disastrous as it could have been.

Near Miss

I got back from class on Thursday. A pretty tough vinyasa. Heading straight to the shower I peeled off my yoga pants only to find a hole in them. Yep…a hole! Pants! Quite literally. This hole was in the worst place possible especially since my choice of actual pants that evening were, shall we say, brighter than my black yoga pants.

So back on they went; I spent about the next ten minutes sticking my backside in the air whilst trying to ascertain if I could see anything through them in the mirror. Basically a second workout.

I don’t know why I bothered. If someone had seen my pants (which is unlikely when the whole class is in down dog) they never shouted out ‘you’ve got pink pants on’. A quick memory scan and, nope, my yoga teacher never giggled at any stage whilst passing me.

A review of the hole…it was tiny. But it was along the seam of my backside and so unfortunately my yoga pants, my favourite ones, are now relegated to the ‘only when doing hiit sessions at home’ pile.

How do you replace your favourite yoga pants?

I spent the rest of the evening looking at new yoga pants (yes I have already failed in my Second Hand September). My conclusion. Far too many to choose from and prices vary wildly.

I looked at the branded Lululemon and Sweaty Betty ones. Whilst lovely they are really expensive with my favourite ones in each coming in at £108 and £85 respectively. Who pays that for yoga pants!? Ok quite possibly me but it was a Christmas present for my sister last year. I’ll need to check with her how they are holding up. Maybe they are worth the money, they are lovely.

I also looked at the Dharmabums one. The brand (not affiliated in any way) has aims consistent with sustainability and recycling. Great! But still around the £50 mark. I don’t mind this price tag as much but my favourite yoga pants where plain black, high waisted and with a lovely feel to them. Not too thick but not thin enough to worry about the see through thing that sometimes happens with yoga pants. I am not sure this makes sense but I kind of get the price tag with the patterned ones. I just don’t fancy buying patterned yoga pants until I get my body into that sculpted goddess type shape (I may never buy patterned yoga pants).

Yes I bought the exact same ones

This might sound mad…given they got a hole in them…but I replaced them with exactly the same brand and style. Why? Well loads of reasons.

My yoga pants were only £19.95. They have lasted a year. I have used them loads. Minus the recent hole, they have been really hard wearing and have withstood a whole lot of yoga. So surely it’s not too mad to get an exact replacement.

When you want the exact same thing it usually involves dissapointment. Brands move on and I often find the thing I want is discontinued (this happened with my favourite Dune loafers). So how pleased was I that these ones were still being sold on Amazon. So my disaster has been averted. I have bought the same ones….again.

I’ll give the link below. I do have an Amazon affiliate account so if you did happen to purchase them via clicking on this image I would get a small commission (if I ever do get some money from this type of thing I would likely buy a second pair…that would probably take years).

The funny thing

I got an email from IUGA today after they were delivered. They must have read my mind as this was a ‘tips and care instructions’ email. Handy, I thought, given my last pair. Maybe not. The instructions advised washing with cold water to avoid break down of performance fabrics. Well this won’t be happening in line with their additional comment that warm water is more effective at cleaning. Yes….I will wash inside out and not alongside rough denims etc. But I won’t accept point 4 on the email which was not to use fabric softener. Apparently it contributes to losing the wicking property over time (whatever that means) and “also causes a nasty lingering odour to develop”. Eh?!!

Yes I did go and sniff my old pair (not in a weird way…in a testing out the point way). No there wasn’t a nasty odour (thankfully!). The only thing worse than having a hole in your yoga pants at yoga class would be a nasty odour. At just under £20 I will take my chances on them lasting a year whilst not following the advice. Do the dearer ones give you this kind of advice?

Anyway…now I am back in my ‘favourite’ yoga pants I can breath easy again…whilst also feeling suitably comfy and sculpted :-).